


Friendly Advice

by thebrightestbird



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Multi, Romantic Comedy, Side pairings are Tony/Pepper/Bruce and Thor/Jane, super sappy, team fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2014-11-24
Packaged: 2018-02-26 19:45:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2664131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebrightestbird/pseuds/thebrightestbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky’s working up the courage to ask Natasha out. Luckily, he has his friends for support.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friendly Advice

**Author's Note:**

> These drawings by [kehinki](http://kehinki.tumblr.com/post/91505892721/can-i-see-some-bucky-being-a-huge-goober-and-trying-to) on Tumblr sparked this fic.

.

_If Bucky Barnes’ life was a romantic comedy, it would probably go a little something like this ..._

.

**Steve and Sharon and Sam** (Not in that way, or so they say)

“I’m going to tell you how to woo Natasha,” Sam says as Bucky joins him, Steve and Sharon for lunch.

“I’m barely seated and you’re going to start with me on this? You don’t waste time, Wilson.”

“ _Exactly_. Quit wasting time. For instance, right at this moment, you could be eating lunch with her.”

“You invited me!”

“Because your sad ass wouldn’t ask Natasha out when you had the chance.” Sam gulps his orange juice indignantly.

“We had just finished a mission. Was I supposed to drop some lines on her? Say something like, ‘Hey, doll. The way you ruptured that fella’s spleen was keen. Let me buy you a drink?’ Or how about, ‘Baby, the blood squirting from that guy’s nose after you broke his face had me thinking of kissing those blood-red lips of yours.”

Bucky lets out a frustrated groan. “As bad as those lines are, they’re not that far from what I was actually thinking on the mission. That’s how fucked up my brain is.” 

“It’s perfectly fine to be attracted to her physical skills and to compliment her on them,” Sharon says. “And if you say it with enough sincerity, you can go ahead and tell her you love her lips. They _are_ really soft.”

The three men stare at her for a moment, letting the words sink in.

“How do you know that?” Bucky asks.

“What? They look really soft,” Sharon says.

“No, Sharon,” Sam chimes in. “You said ‘are.’ That’s speaking from experience.”

Sharon side-eyes Sam. She looks to Steve for some kind of out, but he’s looking … expectant. “Okay, fine. We’ve kissed. You three happy now?”

The men, again, just stare at her.

She sighs. Sharon loves them, but they can be such a chore sometimes. “It was your basic undercover lesbians scenario. After Stark’s showdown with A.I.M. and its founder, there were rumors that other test subjects for other projects were specifically recruited from the LGBT communities. Turns out that it actually went beyond those communities. Aldrich Killian was a real bastard,” Sharon says with a shudder. “Anyway, there was some kissing as deflection at one point.”

“Nat seems to like that strategy,” Steve mutters, eyebrows scrunched in annoyance.

Sam, who is always focused on the important matters, asks, “There’s a basic undercover lesbians scenario?”

“I’m talking about the complexity of the cover, not the frequency of its use,” Sharon says. “So, in answer to your unspoken question, Natasha and I do not often go on undercover assignments as a couple.”

Sam gives a mock pout. “Does that mean no more stories about you kissing Natasha?”

“Because, you know, no matter how basic they are, good covers usually require _practice_ ,” Bucky remarks helpfully.

Sharon just glares at them in reply and busies herself by putting away the things for their sandwiches.

_Everybody needs practice,_ Natasha had told Steve that time on the road to New Jersey. He bumps Sharon’s foot when she gets back to the table and gives her a knowing smile. She rolls her eyes. They definitely practiced.

Steve, ever the leader, decides to steer the conversation back to Bucky’s dilemma. “Buck, really, just figure out when Nat has free time and talk to her.”

“I don’t want to scare her off,” he says.

“She doesn’t scare easily,” Steve says. “She’s faced aliens and an uncontrolled Hulk. She won’t run away because you, James Buchanan Barnes, like her.”

“And if you think it’s the Winter Soldier side of you that’s going to scare her off,” Sam says, “well, she’s faced that too. She’s been there for you, helped you during your deprogramming, and even shared her own experience with it all.”

Steve places his hand on Bucky’s metal shoulder and jostles him. “Honestly, Buck, in the grand scheme of things, you asking Nat out is the least scary thing both of you have faced.”

.

**Thor and Jane** (“You know what they say: It’s not a party unless an Asgardian is eating all of the food.” – _Tony Stark, host_ )

Bucky can’t help but be fascinated by Thor and Jane. There are surface-level reasons for the fascination. The stark differences in heights, backgrounds, demeanors, and lifestyles to name just a few.

But how they get along is the truly fascinating part. Their differences don’t matter at all because different doesn’t necessarily mean incompatible. They love learning and understanding and simply experiencing one another.

This makes every conversation with them an adventure.

“Thor figured out a way of avoiding a chain reaction of infestation in Darcy’s flower bed,” Jane tells Bucky.

“I didn’t know Thor had a green thumb?” he asks.

“Oh, he doesn’t. Thor’s just handled his fair share of invasions of the Asgardian kind. He’s had to protect territories and settle land disputes before.”

“How did he apply those experiences to getting rid of garden invasions of the earthly kind?”

“He introduced another pest.”

“What?” Bucky might be wrong, but you don’t send another enemy to get rid of the current bothersome enemy. S.H.I.E.L.D. did something like that by recruiting former Nazi scientists, and we all know how well that turned out.

“I asked dearest Darcy,” Thor says, “to decide if she could endure creatures living on her roses that wouldn’t harm them in exchange for their ability to fight the Japanese beetles, which were destroying the whole bed.”

Bucky’s still confused. “Is there some grand lesson I should be taking away from this?”

“The lady has a profound dislike of insects,” Thor says. “She once described them as your ‘devil’s disgusting minions and proof of his existence.’ Therefore, this was not a pleasant solution for her.”  He looks to Jane with a silent entreaty and slightly motions his head in Bucky’s direction.

“Yeah,” Jane starts, “Darcy really hated the idea of more bugs, but she’d tried everything else, and Thor guaranteed her flowers would thrive even with other bugs living on them.”

She pauses and shrugs. “So I guess the lesson is sometimes we have to make that scary choice or do the scary thing to get the outcome we want. People tend to overthink things, but look at Darcy. Her roses are gorgeous, and the new bugs ended up not being so bad. She’s even given them names. Her favorite’s Bartholomew.”

Thor and Jane are both grinning at Bucky, beaming false innocence.

“Uh huh. Right. So, speaking of bugs,” Bucky says, “is this you two’s subtle, allegorical way of getting me to conquer my nerves and ask the Black Widow out?”

There’s more grinning, but Jane finally breaks. “Okay, yes! I admit it. You two would be just so good together, Agent Barnes. You have to try –”

“Oh, look, Jane!” Thor interrupts Jane rather loudly. “Blankets of Pigs are being served. Let us eat.”

Thor takes Jane toward the hors d’oeuvres before she can gush more about how smoking hot they’d be together (he’s heard all of this before). Thor looks back with an encouraging smile, however, and Jane shouts a “she’ll say yes!” before disappearing in the crowd.

.

**Clint Barton** (“I shouldn’t be allowed sharp objects unless they’re attached to sticks.”)

“Nope. Sorry, you don’t have my permission.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Barton?”

“You’re here to ask my permission to date Nat,” Clint says. “And you can’t have it.”

Bucky huffs. “Natasha would pull out every last one of your fingernails if she heard you talking like that.”

“Whatever,” Clint says. “I just know why you’re here, and I’m not going to help you. You need to quit blushing like a virgin bride, fucking own your crush, and ask her out to _Kinky Boots_ on Broadway.”

Bucky’s about to tell Clint to stick his bow up his ass when he realizes the last part he said was actually helpful. “Uh, what?”

Clint keeps talking, ignoring Bucky’s confusion. “When you’re not shooting something, you’re mentoring at the Boys & Girls Club and making us all look like jackasses because some of us are allergic to children. I swear Nat gets so annoying when she brings up how happy she is for you and your recovery while we’re eating her favorite Chinese food from Hunan Garden. I mean, she goes on and on about how noble and responsible you are …”

Bucky not-so-discreetly pulls out his smartphone and types some notes.

“…While moaning about how she doesn’t even have time to go out to the latest dystopian teen girl angst movie she really wants to see for some unearthly reason. See? This is the kind of crap I endure because of you.”

Bucky makes sure his notes are saved before looking up at Clint with a big, grateful smile and – because why not – a hug out of nowhere. “Thanks for your help, man. And, um, for everything else.”

Clint gives Bucky a couple of strong pats on the back. “Jesus, Barnes, what is wrong with you? Hugging me like we’re good friends and shit? You’re so embarrassing.”

Bucky laughs. “Fine, I get it.” He gives him one last squeeze before taking pity and stepping back. He puts on his best scowl. “I still loathe you for that time you saved my life by kicking me off the roof into that dumpster. That’s like the worst possible way to save someone.”

Clint shrugs. “Nah, I got you beat on that, but I’ll let Natasha tell you on your first pity date with her.”

Bucky starts to leave when Clint has one last thing to say.

“Oh, and for God’s sake shave that hideous face of yours once in a while so I don’t have to keep hearing Natasha wonder about how you’d look cleaned up. I’m tired of telling her that you’re ancient and probably either eat your shaving foam mistaking the can for some futuristic marshmallow dispenser or you think electric razors come from the devil’s toolbox.”

Bucky slams the door.

.

**Tony and Pepper** (and possibly Bruce; they’re working on it)

Bucky doesn’t fidget. The urge has been trained out of him, but Tony’s really making it hard to sit still while he works on the cybernetic arm. And it’s not because Tony’s doing anything particularly complex or uncomfortable with it.

He just won’t _shut up_.

“…Then Bruce tries the last formula that shouldn’t even work, and of course, that’s the one that returns the giant squid back to normal.”

“Wow, neat,” Bucky says flatly.

“I know! He wasn’t even scheduled to work that day, but the guy just can’t seem to slow down with the breakthroughs and discoveries.”

Pepper clears her throat and gives Tony her most unimpressed look. Work is important to her, but unlike Bruce and Tony, she knows the value of breaks and stepping away once in a while.

Like now. She and Tony were supposed to have lunch on the roof of the tower, but Bucky’s arm was moving a bit stiffly, and Tony was scheduled to fly to the West Coast in the afternoon for some extravagant engineering conference. This would be Bucky’s last chance to get it fixed this week.

Bucky apologized repeatedly to Pepper, but she simply had their lunch taken to Tony’s workshop and offered Bucky a sandwich.

“Please, Pep, I pace myself,” Tony says, responding to her implication.

“You didn’t sleep for 64 hours while figuring out the arc reactor’s sustainable energy uses.”

“I’m a genius. Sleep is optional.”

Bucky snorts. “You use your genius to excuse all of your poor choices?”

Pepper answers “yes” as Tony gives a defensive “no.”

Pepper adds, “Last night, Tony tried to proposition Bruce into our bedroom by promising to catalog and time every sexual thing done among the three of us for, and I quote, ‘future sexy reference.’ ”

“There is nothing sexier than data for geniuses,” Tony says.

Bucky could have lived without knowing that gem of a kink, so he tries to speed the conversation along. “Still no luck getting in those purple pants?”

Tony makes one last adjustment to the plates around Bucky’s elbow. “He keeps blaming the heart rate.”

“Well, keeping control with one person has to be hard enough – ”

Pepper interrupts Bucky. “It’s not just sex. We want to be there for him. Take care of him. The three of us get along so well. We like him so much.”

“Love him, even,” Tony mutters while pretending to scrutinize one last plate on Bucky’s arm.

Bucky looks at Tony and thinks about how the man tackles everything with such blunt honesty. No sugar coating, no holding back. Bucky could learn a few things from his example. He needs to just get everything out in the open with Natasha. How much he likes and admires her. It’s not love yet, but it’s special.

Bucky catches movement behind a really tall, freestanding shelf near the entrance to the stairs. He doesn’t need to guess who’s been hiding and listening to their conversation.

He gets up to leave. “Thanks for the maintenance on such short notice, Tony. And Pepper, it’s always lovely to see you.” He shakes Tony’s hand and gives Pepper a peck on the cheek.

He purposefully goes toward the stairs instead of the elevator and says rather loudly, “Oh, hey Dr. Banner! So good to see you!” 

Bucky gives the befuddled Bruce an encouraging wink before leaving, shouting a “good luck!” to everyone in the room as he walks away and the door shuts behind him.

.

**Natasha** (Locks are a waste of money around her)

“James!”

Bucky whips his body around a clean 180 degrees with his gun in hand, steady.

It’s pointing right at Natasha. Well, slightly above her. She’s shorter than the average assailant.

“What the hell?! You can’t surprise people in a firefight simulation!" He holsters his gun. "That’s not something I want to get in the habit of doing.”

“What? Shooting me? Couple of times isn’t quite a habit.”

Bucky groans. “A third time definitely could make a case for it though.”

That’s as much as he wants to talk about it, but her casual mentions help the guilt some. Natasha’s trying to reassure him in her own twisted way. She’s fine, she’s healed, and she’s not afraid of him.

Bucky gives her his shy, apologetic smile for the millionth time and pushes past the subject. “So why the heart attack?”

“Just wanted to see if that really was a gun in your pocket during the team breakfast – ”

“Or if I was just happy to see you?” Bucky finishes for her. “Yeah, I know that line, and I also know it’s a pretty tired one.”

“Don’t hate on the classics,” she says softly, then goes quiet for a moment and stares. That unnerving, soul-searching stare of hers. “You shaved,” she finally says.

Bucky looks down like shaving is something he should feel guilty about. He took Clint’s advice. Sue him.

“I like it,” she says.

Bucky looks back up at her. She’s smiling. An unrestrained, bright thing. “Yeah, I thought you might,” he says. “And I think you know about how I know you like it.”

He hesitates and replays his words in his head. “Uh, yeah. You know what I’m saying. I’ve been getting advice about you.”

“You’re not subtle, James. You would never make it as a spy.”

“Got you for that,” he says. “But I’ll gladly be your Bond babe. Next mission, I’ll put on a suit and be your arm candy.”

Natasha smiles some more. “You’re such a nerd.”

Bucky shrugs and suddenly goes bashful. “I guess this is the part where I finally ask you out, huh?”

“Well, if this really were a Bond movie, it would be the part where I’d take you to my penthouse for sex.”

Bucky’s eyes go big.

“But, like Clint says, you’re ancient. Don’t want to give you a coronary. So we’ll do things the old-fashioned way. Go ahead and ask me out.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “God, Clint really says those things about me to you?”

“My favorite is how you’re so old, when you were a student, history class didn’t exist.” (Bucky does snort at that.) “ _Anyway_ , quit stalling and ask me out already.”

She’s challenging him. She already knows him so well, knows he can’t walk away when pushed.

With all of the pep talks and encouragement everyone’s been giving him, Bucky thinks he might be ready. Natasha must know it too or she wouldn’t be confronting him now.

He looks her in the eyes and crowds her space, forces her to look far up at him. Despite the halting start Bucky’s had with Natasha, he’s always been a bit of a natural with flirting.

“Let’s go somewhere,” he starts. “A show maybe? A reliable source says you like Broadway.” Natasha arches an eyebrow. “We’ll disappear in the darkness of the theater. Maybe get a chance to kiss those lush lips you’ve caught me staring at.” Those same lips give him a sweet smile.

“So beautiful and brave,” he continues. “Honestly, you’re intimidating. I don’t think I’m worthy. But I’m going to try because you’re also amazing at pushing people in the right direction. If you think I’m worth your time, I’m not going to question you.” He takes a breath. “Go out with me, Natasha?”

Natasha takes her time in replying. It’s not hesitation though. If Bucky were a romantic, he might think she was savoring the moment. But she finally takes pity on him. “Of course, James.”

She pulls away but not without grabbing hold of his metal hand. “I don’t know why you’ve been so nervous. You’re not too bad with the charm.”

“Guess I’m not a total loser, as the kids these days like to say.”

“Well, old man. Let’s get some dinner first. Don’t want to keep you out too late.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Really? This is going to be a thing?”

“Oh, yeah. Barton’s trained me well.”

They walk hand in hand into the elevator. “And you know how I said we were doing things the old-fashioned way?” Natasha asks.

Bucky nods.

“Changed my mind. When we get back tonight, sex is definitely happening.”

Bucky whips his head in her direction. “Is it too soon to say I love you?”

“One step at a time, James.”

-end-

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't expect this fic to go so tooth-rottingly sappy, but that's what came out of my brain. Hope it was amusing, at least :)


End file.
